FREE for all of you!! The infamous shadow work compendium!!! Please pay attention to this and do the exercises. It will help you more than you will ever comprehend at this moment. Be honest, be rigorously honest with yourself. Then spend some time and work on this. Your friends, spouses, loved ones and colleagues will be grateful but most of all you will feel a sense of wholeness unlike ever before.
Copyright by: Kirsten Sandefur
What is your shadow?
We all have biological needs, right? Food,
Safety, comfort and belonging are the most obvious ones. Well as children when we were scolded for certain behaviors or admonished for expressing parts of ourselves that didn't fit into conventional customs or practices and those scoldings or punishments for acting in that manner threatened one of our basic needs. Maybe being scolded at home threatened our safety at home, or being reprimanded or laughed at in school threatened our sense of belonging. We therefore adjusted our behavior to gratify our needs and those parts of us that we were scolded for were put in a box and locked away. They never disappear though, they are very much a part of you and they comprise who you really are. Children accumulate that box of that un-accepted or discouraged parts and drag it around behind them but it is only out of view, it is still part of our subconscious. When we deny any part of ourselves, we disown it but what we don't really consciously acknowledge is that it will turn against us if we continue to ignore it. The shadow can operate completely on its own, with or without your consent. This is why we say things we don't mean when we are angry, why we say one thing but our body says something else entirely, we do things we wouldn't normally do and we let this seep in to affect our relationships and friendships. Whatever you ignore in yourself will show up in someone else, it's called projection. What we ignore we will project onto others because our ego uses it as a defense mechanism. These psychological distortions will distort your reality and give us a slanted view of who we really are. You want to know yourself completely, right? Sure you do, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this right now! Kudos to you for deciding to do this work. No one likes to discuss their flaws or insecurities but it is imperative if you want to heal yourself, be honest with yourself, love yourself and also love others wholeheartedly.
You are showing up for yourself in this beautiful confident way and loving all of yourself, leaving no stone unturned. That deserves applause. You are far more courageous than most, who are content to leave the shadow buried. You know better, you understand that burying it will only cause it to rear its head in some other area of your life. You are shining light into the darkest corners of your psyche and looking for metaphorical monsters.
You are a warrior of the psyche and that’s epic! This will enable you to co create your own story, where you are the hero around which the narrative collides and unfurls. You are taking charge.
No matter whether you sit down to conquer this all in one day or in short bursts, please make sure to finish it all. Establish a rhythm and set a date to finish it.
Lean into this work and find a rhythym that feels effective to you.
I want you to please ground yourself before you begin. Clear your mind.I find chanting the mantra OM 30x is the most helpful. I also encourage you to be rigorously honest with yourself here.
Above all, remember that the time you spend doing shadow work is a sacred gift to yourself but also to the people in your life – everyone you come across benefits from your sincere dedication to your personal development. Also, it will help you grow leaps and bounds in your own work and release fears and inhibitions you have suffered with your whole life.
PREPARE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
When doing shadow work, a big part of the journey is recognising those issues which get you upset or anxious or even raise your blood pressure and make you feel crappy. Identifying those things gives you the power to begin working at the root of them. You can work to understand where certain fears, complexes or negative behaviours originally came from. Comprehending their genesis leads you to see why they hold so much power over you and in your life now and how they keep making trouble for you! Some of your shadow material came from your childhood, it does for most people. It came from your family dynamics, the parenting and guidance that you received from adults or your relationships with siblings. Some came from key experiences which defined your response to the world around you. This could have been a death in the family, an accident, some shocking news, an illness or an experience of bullying or abuse. Just as many seemingly small, uneventful things may have been absorbed into your psyche at a deep level and ended up influencing your decisions or thoughts later in life. Shadow working helps you to see where your somatic injuries and complexes got their foothold in your psyche. This allows you to see the warning signs that accompany unwanted behavior. Arming yourself with information about those warning signs means that you can accompany yourself into the tough times and understand how to help yourself cope. As always remember, your shadow is a part of you. Love it as you do any portion of yourself. Before you begin, practice gratitude and thank your shadow. This is imperative for protection and healing your shadow.